The Talk
by xPhoenixQueenx
Summary: Anakin has to give Ahsoka the talk, but will do anything to avoid it, even trying to get Padme and Obi-Wan to do it for him! Part two of the Jedi Blunders Cycle.


** So, here is a little humour for you. Enjoy!**

* * *

He was happy.

Anakin Skywalker was really happy.

His day had went extremely well; he had taught some younglings basic defence manoeuvres, had finished his essay for Mace Windu on time (Which was rare), and had handed his report in to Madame Jacosta Nu before its due date. This day, was definitely Anakin Skywalker's best day of his life.

He was free.

"Anakin?" A familiar voice sounded.

As usual, he always spoke too soon.

Groaning, he turned around to see his Former Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, walking towards him, a look of complete awkwardness on his face. He was looking a bit shifty about something, and, as he stopped before Anakin, he cleared his throat and said, "Maybe we should talk in private?"

Okay, something was definitely up. Anakin followed Obi-Wan towards a window, and they sat on the bench. Turning, he waited for Obi-Wan to start, but, when he did, he was sweating slightly.

"Anakin, have you talked to Ahsoka yet?"

Confusion rose on Anakin's face, as he just stared at Obi-Wan, as his Former Master gave a sigh. "What I meant to say, was did you give her the talk?"

Anakin just stared at him, still confused, and he said, "I still don't know what you mean Master."

Obi-Wan shook his head, and said, "You know Anakin. _The_ talk."

Now, he understood. Anakin jumped up, and, shaking his head and hands, he said, "No. NO! I am not going to give her the talk!"

"You have to Anakin!" Obi-Wan said, standing up and brushing down the front of his robes; he had retained his calm composure. "It's important that you do this talk! It's part of the criteria between a Master and Padawan! Qui-Gon had to talk to me, and I had to give you the talk, remember?"

"Yeah, you wouldn't stop blushing. I swear that you were the same colour as your hair throughout the whole conversation!"

Obi-Wan flinched at that, but he glared at Anakin. "Just, make sure that you give it as simple as possible Anakin, and no filthy motions like you did when _I_ gave you the talk!"

Anakin laughed; how could he forget that day? But he suddenly frowned. "I just think it's going to be a bit awkward if a guy talks to a girl about the facts of life? Why don't you do it?"

Obi-Wan chuckled. "Oh no, Anakin." He clasped Anakin's shoulder. "You're not getting out of this one this time!"

* * *

For the rest of the day, Anakin was thinking about how to deliver the talk to Ahsoka. Shifting on his couch in his and Padme's apartment, he stared into the Coruscant sunset, awaiting the arrival on his wife. Maybe _she_ could give him some advice.

Or maybe give Ahsoka the talk instead.

Finally, the door slid open, and his beautiful wife walked in, sighing tiredly. "What a day!" She said, sitting next to him. "I had to sign so many forms in order for requests to be made! And Satine wasn't helping much..."

"Padme," Anakin finally said. "I...need your help."

She instantly turned to him, and said, "What is it Annie? Is it your nightmares again?"

"No." Anakin assured her instantly. "It's...I have to give Ahsoka the talk. But, unfortunately, it's going to be really awkward."

Padme raised her eyebrows, and said, "Why?"

Anakin threw his hands up into the air, and jumped up. "A _guy_ talking to a _girl_ about stuff like that is not a good idea Padme!"

Padme giggled, and stood. "Well, what did Obi-Wan do when he gave you the talk?"

"Blushed, but that was it."

"Well, you're just going to have to grin and bear it sweetheart." Padme told him. "I know it's going to sound awkward, but it needs to be done. And don't think of asking me to give her the talk Anakin," She added, walking towards the kitchen to make herself something to drink. "She's your padawan. Deal with it."

Anakin gave a groan of defeat, and walked out of the apartment. Maybe, he was just going to have to grit his teeth, and bear it.

He smiled. How hard could it be?

When he walked into his and Ahsoka's quarters (Which he rarely slept in anyway), he found her sitting on the couch, doing her homework. Anakin cleared his throat, and she looked up. She jumped, and dropped her pencil on the ground, "Sorry Master!" she said, picking it up. "I didn't see you!"

"It's okay 'Soka," He said, sitting next to her. Sweat was beginning to break on his forehead, and he quickly wiped it away.

"Is something wrong Master?" Ahsoka asked, gazing at him.

"It's just...." He cleared his throat. "Ahsoka, do you know about the facts of life?"

She was looking really confused, so he made it a bit simpler for her. "You know, about," He felt his throat close up slightly; and he thought this was going to be easy! "Sex?"  
"Master!" She said instantly. "It's okay! I got the Talk a couple of years ago!"

"You what now?" He said, standing up now. "What? When? Who?"

Ahsoka just reached over for a soda can and popped it open. Taking a sip, she smiled at him. "Oh, Master Kenobi came and talked to our class at one point about it, because Master Eerin was ill."

That son of a- Anakin shook his head, and walked to the door. "I'll be back in a moment!" He called before she could ask.

Walking swiftly down the corridors, he headed towards Obi-Wan apartment, and slammed his fist against the door several times. Finally, he opened the door, looking very annoyed, at his Master as he walked towards the door. "Anakin!" He said crossly, as his Former Padawan breathed heavily before him. "I was just- What's the matter?"

Anakin's hands shook angrily, as he snarled, "You. Gave. Ahsoka. The. Talk. TWO. BLASTED. YEARS. AGO!"

Obi-Wan frowned, and, suddenly, he remembered. "Oh! Now I remember! Ahsoka was in that class back then! She was very- Anakin, what are you doing?" He said, his voice suddenly shaking with some fear, as his Former padawan stalked towards him, anger on his face, as he grabbed his sabre. "Anakin!"

"I was getting so worked up about this since you told me, and now you tell me that you actually GAVE HER THE TALK TWO YEARS AGO!" He lunged for his Master, but Obi-Wan ducked under his arm, and ran out into the corridor, startling Jedi as he ran down the marble corridor, with Anakin in hot pursuit.

Ahsoka watched from afar, and, as Yoda passed her, she could hear him say, "Hmmm. Glad it wasn't me getting chased by some former Padawan, I am."


End file.
